Let’s be honest, the mother-in-law relationship has a bit of a reputation. From sitcom punchlines to whispered family stories, it’s often portrayed as tricky. But in reality, this bond can be rewarding, even if it takes some work. Whether you’re aiming for “BFF” status or just want peaceful holidays, these tips will help you connect, find common ground, and maybe even share a few laughs along the way.
1. Start With Curiosity, Not Judgement
Instead of assuming you already know who she is, ask open-ended questions. Find out about her childhood, favourite hobbies, or travel dreams. Curiosity shows respect, and it might reveal shared interests you didn’t expect.
2. Keep Communication Open (and Kind)
Clear, kind communication goes a long way. If something is bothering you, address it early rather than letting resentment build. Use “I” statements to keep things constructive, think “I feel…” instead of “You always…”.
3. Respect Her Role in the Family
Even if you’re the new star of your partner’s life, she’s been there from the start. Acknowledging her place in family traditions and decision-making shows maturity and helps avoid unnecessary power struggles.
4. Find Neutral Ground
Shared activities are a great way to connect without forcing deep conversations. Try a local market trip, a wine tasting, or a cooking class. Bonus points if it’s something new for both of you, it’s easier to bond when you’re both out of your comfort zone.
Photo by Kampus Production
5. Set Boundaries Without Guilt
Healthy relationships need boundaries. Whether it’s about unannounced visits, parenting advice, or holiday schedules, be honest but kind. Boundaries protect both of you from misunderstandings.
6. Give Genuine Compliments
Notice her strengths, whether she makes the best roast potatoes or tells the most fascinating travel stories, and say so. Genuine praise helps dissolve tension and builds goodwill.
7. Involve Her in Special Moments
Include her in celebrations, milestones, or even casual outings. A simple invitation can go a long way in making her feel valued, and it helps create positive shared memories.
8. Share the Load During Family Events
From setting the table to organising games for the kids, pitching in during gatherings shows you’re part of the team. It’s also a great way to avoid awkward lulls and keep busy.
9. Laugh Together
Humour is the ultimate icebreaker. Share a funny story, watch a comedy, or laugh over a kitchen disaster. When you can laugh together, the relationship naturally feels lighter.
Photo by Anastasia Shuraeva
A great relationship with your mother-in-law won’t happen overnight, but with patience, empathy, and a little effort, you can shift the dynamic in a positive direction. You may not agree on everything, but mutual respect, and maybe the occasional shared bottle of wine, can make family life a lot smoother.
Let’s be honest, the mother-in-law relationship has a bit of a reputation. From sitcom punchlines to whispered family stories, it’s often portrayed as tricky. But in reality, this bond can be rewarding, even if it takes some work. Whether you’re aiming for “BFF” status or just want peaceful holidays, these tips will help you connect, find common ground, and maybe even share a few laughs along the way.
1. Start With Curiosity, Not Judgement
Instead of assuming you already know who she is, ask open-ended questions. Find out about her childhood, favourite hobbies, or travel dreams. Curiosity shows respect, and it might reveal shared interests you didn’t expect.
2. Keep Communication Open (and Kind)
Clear, kind communication goes a long way. If something is bothering you, address it early rather than letting resentment build. Use “I” statements to keep things constructive, think “I feel…” instead of “You always…”.
3. Respect Her Role in the Family
Even if you’re the new star of your partner’s life, she’s been there from the start. Acknowledging her place in family traditions and decision-making shows maturity and helps avoid unnecessary power struggles.
4. Find Neutral Ground
Shared activities are a great way to connect without forcing deep conversations. Try a local market trip, a wine tasting, or a cooking class. Bonus points if it’s something new for both of you, it’s easier to bond when you’re both out of your comfort zone.
5. Set Boundaries Without Guilt
Healthy relationships need boundaries. Whether it’s about unannounced visits, parenting advice, or holiday schedules, be honest but kind. Boundaries protect both of you from misunderstandings.
6. Give Genuine Compliments
Notice her strengths, whether she makes the best roast potatoes or tells the most fascinating travel stories, and say so. Genuine praise helps dissolve tension and builds goodwill.
7. Involve Her in Special Moments
Include her in celebrations, milestones, or even casual outings. A simple invitation can go a long way in making her feel valued, and it helps create positive shared memories.
8. Share the Load During Family Events
From setting the table to organising games for the kids, pitching in during gatherings shows you’re part of the team. It’s also a great way to avoid awkward lulls and keep busy.
9. Laugh Together
Humour is the ultimate icebreaker. Share a funny story, watch a comedy, or laugh over a kitchen disaster. When you can laugh together, the relationship naturally feels lighter.
A great relationship with your mother-in-law won’t happen overnight, but with patience, empathy, and a little effort, you can shift the dynamic in a positive direction. You may not agree on everything, but mutual respect, and maybe the occasional shared bottle of wine, can make family life a lot smoother.
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