From the Ghost to the Lurker, find out what your social media personality is.
Let’s face it, only the ultra, ultra cool kids aren’t on social media these days, and while we may all aspire to be like them, the reality is that for most of us it isn’t an option. From business and work, to keeping up with friends and family, most of us can’t avoid socials, and actually some of us also secretly love it. However, like most things, how we engage with social media varies from person to person. Whether you are putting your whole life out there for consumption or just checking in on the odd occasion to see what your best friends, brother’s cousin girlfriend has been up to (don’t pretend you haven’t fallen into that rabbit hole!), read on to find out what social media personality type you are.
Photo by Edmond Dantès
The Lurker
You know exactly who you are! You claim you “rarely” use social media, but let’s be real—you’re there, lurking in the shadows. Your profile probably features a random picture (definitely not of you), maybe just your initials or an obscure name that makes you hard to track down. You follow almost no one, and aside from a handful of your nearest and dearest, no one even knows you’re online. But you’re there, scrolling away, silently observing. Your sole mission? To snoop on the lives of friends, family, ex-colleagues, and that person from high school whose name you barely remember, all while judging from a safe, anonymous distance.
You never post, never comment, and never like. Your greatest frustration? The fact that if you watch someone’s stories, they’ll see you’ve been creeping. Although, to be fair, your profile is probably so obscure they wouldn’t even know it’s you. But still, you get an odd sense of satisfaction from seeing someone else’s social media train wreck, all while comfortably hiding in the shadows. For you, it’s not about engaging—it’s about silently judging. And honestly? You’re kind of crushing it.
Photo by Athena Sandrini
The Everything on Show
Your kids’ first steps? Posted. The time your husband brought you flowers? Insta-worthy moment. How many times you’ve peed today? Well, there’s a story update for that. You’re the type of person who believes that if it didn’t make it to social media, it didn’t happen. Every meal, every thought, every slightly interesting thing that crosses your path — you document it all. We know your morning routine better than we know our own, and we’re pretty sure we could narrate your entire day without missing a beat.
Social media isn’t just a platform for you; it’s your personal confessional. Feeling inspired? Post about it. Feeling down? We’ll see a paragraph-long update (probably with a crying emoji). From your dog’s vet appointments to your deep existential crises, we’re here for the play-by-play of your life. Every. Single. Moment. Sometimes we wonder if you even know what privacy is, but then we see your 34-story Instagram day and realize: nope, not at all. Keep sharing, though! We’re low-key invested in this reality show you’ve got going, and we are totally judging you for it – after all you insisted!
The Ghost
Ah, The Ghost. You’re like Bigfoot — we know you exist, but we never actually see you. You’ve got an account on every social media platform, but your posts? Nonexistent. Your profile picture is probably still the default silhouette, and the only thing you’ve ever “liked” is a random meme from 2014. You hide in the shadows, silently watching everyone’s stories, scrolling through feeds, and occasionally heart-reacting to something, just so people know you’re still alive. We’re not sure if you’re in witness protection or just really into your privacy settings, but either way, you’ve got us all wondering.
You’ve mastered the art of being a social media ninja — popping up in notifications just long enough to remind people you’re there before disappearing into the ether again. Maybe one day, you’ll grace us with a post, but it’s more likely we’ll spot a UFO first. You’re the social media equivalent of a “seen at 2:34 AM” text. Mysterious, elusive, and just a little bit confusing, but we kind of love the suspense. Keep us guessing, Ghost — your digital invisibility is oddly fascinating.
The Perfector
Your life is like a perfectly curated Instagram feed — think glossy magazine ads mixed with a sprinkle of “too good to be true” vibes. Every post you share looks like it was shot by a professional photographer, lit by the golden hour, and edited with the care of someone who knows exactly what saturation is. Your theme song? It’s gotta be “Everything is Awesome!” — blasting in the background as you sip your artisanal latte and casually showcase your spotless kitchen or your flawless #OOTD.
Your friends and family? Oh, they’re watching, alright — with a mix of awe, envy, and mild nausea. They might be side-eyeing their own messy lives while typing out comments like “OMG, you’re so amazing!” or “How is this even real? I need your life!!” Meanwhile, they’re probably thinking, “Okay, but where’s the mess? The laundry pile? The spilled coffee? Are they hiding it? Is there a secret room where the chaos lives?” But of course, they’ll never know because, in the world of The Perfector, those things don’t exist.
In reality, you’re either living your best life or you’re just really, really good at Photoshop and smoke-and-mirror tricks. Either way, you’ve got the world fooled (and maybe even yourself). So, as you continue your mission to make everyone believe your life is straight out of a movie set, just remember: if life were a music video, you’d be nailing it — flawless lighting, zero bad hair days, and a wardrobe that looks like it was sponsored by Vogue. Keep kidding yourself Perfector, and we’ll keep pretending you really are perfect too.
Photo by VIRGIMALDONADO
The Sad
Let’s be honest, your social media game is… questionable at best. Your pictures? Blurry (not in a good way), awkward, and often missing half your face. You’ve somehow managed to master the fine art of capturing absolutely nothing worth sharing. In fact, your most recent post was a zoomed-in, upside-down shot of the ground, and we’re all still trying to figure out what you were going for. Is it modern art? A metaphor for life? Nope, just an accidental story upload that’ll stay up for 24 excruciating hours.
It’s not that you don’t try; it’s just that technology seems to be actively working against you. Filters? What filters? Hashtags? Probably something like #Oops #HowDoIDeleteThis. You’d tag your friends if only you could figure out how to do it without tagging a random stranger from Thailand. At this point, your followers are staying for the unintentional comedy show. We’re here for the upside-down selfies, the out-of-focus landscapes, and the inevitable “why is this on my timeline?” moments. Keep doing you, Sad — it’s weirdly refreshing.
The Bully
Ah, The Bully, the absolute worst of the social media jungle. You’re like a human internet troll, but with a smartphone — lurking in the comments section, ready to tear down anyone who dares to have a differing opinion. You’re the type that somehow turns a cute dog picture into a heated political debate or finds a way to criticize someone’s vacation photos. If being obnoxious was an Olympic sport, you’d have gold medals stacked to the ceiling. People dread seeing your username pop up, because they know it means they’re about to get roasted harder than a marshmallow at a campfire.
Honestly, you’re the person who makes everyone question if there should be an IQ test for owning a phone. You’ve got so much negativity that even your keyboard is probably considering filing a restraining order. Seriously, someone needs to swoop in and take all your devices away immediately. Like, stat. You need a break from screens, and honestly, the rest of us need a break from you. Go touch some grass, drink some water, and maybe — just maybe — try being a decent human for once. The internet will thank you.
From the Ghost to the Lurker, find out what your social media personality is.
Let’s face it, only the ultra, ultra cool kids aren’t on social media these days, and while we may all aspire to be like them, the reality is that for most of us it isn’t an option. From business and work, to keeping up with friends and family, most of us can’t avoid socials, and actually some of us also secretly love it. However, like most things, how we engage with social media varies from person to person. Whether you are putting your whole life out there for consumption or just checking in on the odd occasion to see what your best friends, brother’s cousin girlfriend has been up to (don’t pretend you haven’t fallen into that rabbit hole!), read on to find out what social media personality type you are.
The Lurker
You know exactly who you are! You claim you “rarely” use social media, but let’s be real—you’re there, lurking in the shadows. Your profile probably features a random picture (definitely not of you), maybe just your initials or an obscure name that makes you hard to track down. You follow almost no one, and aside from a handful of your nearest and dearest, no one even knows you’re online. But you’re there, scrolling away, silently observing. Your sole mission? To snoop on the lives of friends, family, ex-colleagues, and that person from high school whose name you barely remember, all while judging from a safe, anonymous distance.
You never post, never comment, and never like. Your greatest frustration? The fact that if you watch someone’s stories, they’ll see you’ve been creeping. Although, to be fair, your profile is probably so obscure they wouldn’t even know it’s you. But still, you get an odd sense of satisfaction from seeing someone else’s social media train wreck, all while comfortably hiding in the shadows. For you, it’s not about engaging—it’s about silently judging. And honestly? You’re kind of crushing it.
The Everything on Show
Your kids’ first steps? Posted. The time your husband brought you flowers? Insta-worthy moment. How many times you’ve peed today? Well, there’s a story update for that. You’re the type of person who believes that if it didn’t make it to social media, it didn’t happen. Every meal, every thought, every slightly interesting thing that crosses your path — you document it all. We know your morning routine better than we know our own, and we’re pretty sure we could narrate your entire day without missing a beat.
Social media isn’t just a platform for you; it’s your personal confessional. Feeling inspired? Post about it. Feeling down? We’ll see a paragraph-long update (probably with a crying emoji). From your dog’s vet appointments to your deep existential crises, we’re here for the play-by-play of your life. Every. Single. Moment. Sometimes we wonder if you even know what privacy is, but then we see your 34-story Instagram day and realize: nope, not at all. Keep sharing, though! We’re low-key invested in this reality show you’ve got going, and we are totally judging you for it – after all you insisted!
The Ghost
Ah, The Ghost. You’re like Bigfoot — we know you exist, but we never actually see you. You’ve got an account on every social media platform, but your posts? Nonexistent. Your profile picture is probably still the default silhouette, and the only thing you’ve ever “liked” is a random meme from 2014. You hide in the shadows, silently watching everyone’s stories, scrolling through feeds, and occasionally heart-reacting to something, just so people know you’re still alive. We’re not sure if you’re in witness protection or just really into your privacy settings, but either way, you’ve got us all wondering.
You’ve mastered the art of being a social media ninja — popping up in notifications just long enough to remind people you’re there before disappearing into the ether again. Maybe one day, you’ll grace us with a post, but it’s more likely we’ll spot a UFO first. You’re the social media equivalent of a “seen at 2:34 AM” text. Mysterious, elusive, and just a little bit confusing, but we kind of love the suspense. Keep us guessing, Ghost — your digital invisibility is oddly fascinating.
The Perfector
Your life is like a perfectly curated Instagram feed — think glossy magazine ads mixed with a sprinkle of “too good to be true” vibes. Every post you share looks like it was shot by a professional photographer, lit by the golden hour, and edited with the care of someone who knows exactly what saturation is. Your theme song? It’s gotta be “Everything is Awesome!” — blasting in the background as you sip your artisanal latte and casually showcase your spotless kitchen or your flawless #OOTD.
Your friends and family? Oh, they’re watching, alright — with a mix of awe, envy, and mild nausea. They might be side-eyeing their own messy lives while typing out comments like “OMG, you’re so amazing!” or “How is this even real? I need your life!!” Meanwhile, they’re probably thinking, “Okay, but where’s the mess? The laundry pile? The spilled coffee? Are they hiding it? Is there a secret room where the chaos lives?” But of course, they’ll never know because, in the world of The Perfector, those things don’t exist.
In reality, you’re either living your best life or you’re just really, really good at Photoshop and smoke-and-mirror tricks. Either way, you’ve got the world fooled (and maybe even yourself). So, as you continue your mission to make everyone believe your life is straight out of a movie set, just remember: if life were a music video, you’d be nailing it — flawless lighting, zero bad hair days, and a wardrobe that looks like it was sponsored by Vogue. Keep kidding yourself Perfector, and we’ll keep pretending you really are perfect too.
The Sad
Let’s be honest, your social media game is… questionable at best. Your pictures? Blurry (not in a good way), awkward, and often missing half your face. You’ve somehow managed to master the fine art of capturing absolutely nothing worth sharing. In fact, your most recent post was a zoomed-in, upside-down shot of the ground, and we’re all still trying to figure out what you were going for. Is it modern art? A metaphor for life? Nope, just an accidental story upload that’ll stay up for 24 excruciating hours.
It’s not that you don’t try; it’s just that technology seems to be actively working against you. Filters? What filters? Hashtags? Probably something like #Oops #HowDoIDeleteThis. You’d tag your friends if only you could figure out how to do it without tagging a random stranger from Thailand. At this point, your followers are staying for the unintentional comedy show. We’re here for the upside-down selfies, the out-of-focus landscapes, and the inevitable “why is this on my timeline?” moments. Keep doing you, Sad — it’s weirdly refreshing.
The Bully
Ah, The Bully, the absolute worst of the social media jungle. You’re like a human internet troll, but with a smartphone — lurking in the comments section, ready to tear down anyone who dares to have a differing opinion. You’re the type that somehow turns a cute dog picture into a heated political debate or finds a way to criticize someone’s vacation photos. If being obnoxious was an Olympic sport, you’d have gold medals stacked to the ceiling. People dread seeing your username pop up, because they know it means they’re about to get roasted harder than a marshmallow at a campfire.
Honestly, you’re the person who makes everyone question if there should be an IQ test for owning a phone. You’ve got so much negativity that even your keyboard is probably considering filing a restraining order. Seriously, someone needs to swoop in and take all your devices away immediately. Like, stat. You need a break from screens, and honestly, the rest of us need a break from you. Go touch some grass, drink some water, and maybe — just maybe — try being a decent human for once. The internet will thank you.
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