If you are anything like me, you might have struggled over the years with self-doubt or the beleaguering habit of comparing yourself to others. We know it doesn’t help, but sometimes we feel like we can’t stop the train wreck of negative thoughts that consume us. Thoughts of friends, family members or peers with fancier cars, better clothes, homes they own or solid relationships…they seem happier and more successful, with picture-perfect lives.
But the thing is, comparing yourself with others in this way is unhealthy and becomes an endless trap of negative emotion. All it achieves is making you feel worse off than before. So what can you do to take back control and start feeling like the amazing, incredible person that you are? If you’re ready for a better life, read on for four ways to become more positive and help you feel content in where you are at!
1. Focus on what you already have
The truth is, when you’re happy with what you already have, you’ll feel great about yourself and naturally won’t compare yourself to others anymore. The desire to want, propels us forward on our paths and can be extremely motivating, but coveting other people’s lives and things is extremely detrimental to our health.
Practice being grateful for the people, things and circumstances in your life until it becomes a habit. As you do this more often, your sense of fulfilment will expand and the restlessness should start to fade.
2. Realise no one is perfect – and you don’t need to be either
Embrace your faults and understand that nobody gets it right 100% of the time. If you find yourself dwelling on the past and ruminating over mistakes, instead look back and love and learn from it. Often, the lessons we need are presented to us and by making mistakes and learning from them, we are growing and working towards a better future.
Where you are today is not necessarily where you will be in the future. Circumstances change, and so can people. But if you did everything perfectly all of the time, there would be no room for growth and nothing to learn.
3. Spend time doing what you love
When you focus on doing the things you love and investing quality time in those hobbies, interests or work-oriented goals, you are building yourself up. The power of creation and joy will lift your self confidence and as you derive pleasure from those activities, you will automatically feel happier about your life.
Don’t get so caught up in the rat race and superficialities that you lose sight of the many facets of joy and experiences we have in life.
4. Change the narrative
The voice inside our heads can sometimes be a cruel master… but guess what? You aren’t powerless; you have the ultimate control. You get to choose what you want to believe. Be kind to yourself and change the narrative.
This is often all about how we frame things in our minds. Instead of saying “I can’t”, tell yourself you’re brave enough to try. Instead of saying “I should have”, say “I want to”, and instead of telling yourself you are “fat” or “unworthy” or “stupid” think about how you would speak to a friend if they said those things about themselves. You would support them and bolster them up with kind and encouraging words, so choose those words for yourself too!
Want more? Click here for Five Ways to Tell If Your Meditation Practice Is Working For You and here for How I Overcame Procrastination.